


Saltines and Swimsuits

by nebula_of_dawn



Series: High School Human AU [1]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Eating Disorders, from a dancer, garnet is the best friend we all deserve, if you feel like pearl please know i love you and you are doing great, is this a little to personal?, probably, the whole mirror thing is real, yes i project onto pearl shut up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:55:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27705874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nebula_of_dawn/pseuds/nebula_of_dawn
Summary: The Crystal Gems are spending a weekend at a log cabin, and the gems are excited about using the hot tub.One gem has a different opinion on the matter.or: pearl has severe body dysmorphia and suffers from an eating disorder, and garnet has to calm her down in the bathroom.
Relationships: Garnet & Pearl (Steven Universe)
Series: High School Human AU [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2026330
Kudos: 11





	Saltines and Swimsuits

“Hey G, is that a hot tub outside?”

Amethyst, Bismuth, and Pearl had joined Garnet and her moms for a week at this snowy lodge for Christmas Break. Since Pearl was living with Garnet’s family and Amethyst’s family was okay at best, the family had decided that taking the group out to a small lodging town to spend the holidays together.

It had gone great so far, except till Amethyst had spoken those words.

Pearl liked winter the most out of all the seasons, because winter meant covering up, and being bundled in layers of clothing wasn’t as suspicious. Winter was not the time for swimsuits, and Pearl was completely unprepared.

“It looks like there is. Do you all want to go in the hot tub?” Garnet said, looking at the group, eyes narrowing suspiciously at Pearl.

“That honesty sounds amazing,” Bismuth said, looking at the snow.

“I’m with Bis here, I’m so down for that.” Amethyst said.

Garnet shifted in her chair and faced Pearl as she said, “Pearl?”

Pearl flinched, as if she was deep in thought. From the words ‘hot tub’ Pearl had started to think about what she had to do, and a way to get out of it. 

“Oh, I would love to. But I forgot my swimsuit! Haha, silly me. You all go ahead and I will just put my toes in,” Pearl said, playing with her sweater cuffs. 

“Pearl you are in luck. I think I have an extra swimsuit! It may be a bit too big cause you're like a stick or whatever, but we can tie it or something.” Amethyst said.

Garnet looked from Pearl to Amethyst, waiting for Pearl’s response.

“Oh, okay. Well, I guess I can haha! Nevermind!” Pearl said, standing up a little too quickly and tripping on the mat as she ran up the stairs into her and Bismuth’s room.

One swimsuit in hand, Pearl changed in the bathroom and attempted to pin the swimsuit. She looked ridiculous, with or without the outfit. The cups were too big, and the bottoms gaping, giving her the illusion that she was a little bigger than she already was.   
To anyone else, this was no big deal. To Pearl, it was gigantic. 

Her throat started to close, her eyes started to water, and she felt the need to vomit. Or lay down. Anything other than looking at herself in the mirror. 

Feeling very nauseous, she sat down on the bathroom floor by the toilet. She had barely eaten today, and yet she felt the reset. To be clean again. Her mind was spiraling, and the lack of calories and water was not doing Pearl anymore favors. 

Her mind kept feeding her thoughts, nothing new, eerily familiar.

It’s not enough  
You deserve this  
You deserve to be sick

Pearl started to really cry now, the dull ache in her stomach reminding her over and over that it would never be enough.

But Pearl was no stranger to this. Growing up with controlling parents and the competitive world of ballet Pearl’s body had been in the spotlight for so long. The constant mirrors and view of her body had made sure her insecurities formed from a young age, like roots into her ground. Despite quitting dance a year ago she still checks in the mirror. 

So laying on the cold floor by the toilet, Pearl felt small. And ugly. And worthless. Pathetically clinging to the cold tile ground, hoping it would swallow her up.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a gentle knock on the door.

“Pearl, are you alright?”

‘Oh shoot,’ Pearl thought. She lost track of time, and now she looked suspicious.

“Um, ah, yes! Don’t worry about me, go swim with everyone else.”

Garnet pondered this, then said, “Pearl can I come in? I think I can help.”

Without thinking, she said yes.

Garnet walked in, looking at Pearl clinging to the toilet, pale in the face, and her doubts were confirmed.

Garnet was no stranger to Pearl’s “habits”, as growing up together, and after she moved in 6 months ago had led to seeing her everyday, had given her more insight to her friend. Many nights had Garnet sat alongside her as she tried to coax her into eating, or just holding her.

Pearl however, was mortified. She was sick of feeling this way, yet couldn’t stop. She simply looked at Garnet, and cried.

Garnet immediately took action as she grabbed Pearl off of the floor and sat her on the toilet. She grabbed a washcloth and rubbed her face, placing the cold rag on her forehead. She then grabbed a bottle of water on the table, and brought it to her lips.

Pearl simply started back, eyes dull.

“Please drink Pearl. For me?”

Pearl nodded, and slowly sipped.

After she had drank at least a third of the bottle and Garnet seemed satisfied, Garnet reached into her bag and pulled out a sleeve of saltines, grabbing five and placing them in her palm.

Pearl however had decided the pattern on the shower curtain was the most interesting thing in the world, and refused to look at the crackers.

“Pearl, please eat.”

Pearl looked at her, eyes filling with tears again as she whispered so silently Garnet had to focus to hear her, “I can’t.”

“I know. But I know you can, and you will Pearl. You cannot keep doing this to yourself.”

“I know.”

“Here, we’ll go slow.”

And there they were, Garnet feeding Pearl saltines slowly while Pearl tried not to vomit.  
“I’m sorry Garnet. I know this is a burden and I’m already living with you which is a burden in itself, and I know I can’t keep doing this but I just don’t know what to do and I want you to know that I’m so so sorry Gar-”

“Pearl. Calm down, breathe. Please stop apologizing. You will never be a burden, and my moms and I love having you at home. It is going to be alright, I promise.”

Pearl took a deep breath and answered, “okay.”

Minutes passed, Pearl calming down. 

“What do you want to do next?” Garnet asked.

“I want to go see our friends, but I can’t go out with everyone looking at me.”

“Would you want to swim in an extra shirt I have in my bag? It’s oversized.”

“Okay.”

15 minutes later, Pearl and Garnet walked downstairs, through the door to the patio, and into the hot tub. Mercifully, Bismuth and Amethyst made no comment, only mentioning how they missed a squirrel which got into a fight with another squirrel over a nut. 

Pearl sighed, looking at her friends smiling at each other at a joke Amethyst made, and smiled.

She focused on the snow falling onto the ground, and the chill on her face as the light breeze waved in.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!  
> This is my first fic I have ever published, and are very excited that you read my work.  
> This is a one-shot of a book which has yet to be published, so if it seems like it is missing details, it probably was. 
> 
> On a more real note, while this exact same experience did not happen to me, this was inspired on real events. So this is dated to the best best friend ever, and to the time she spent with me sitting on the bathroom floor of a High School football stadium. I love you so much.


End file.
